predictions

so i'm starting back on monday.
and i'm making myself a list of things that i want to have accomplished by the end of it. freshman year was one thing in itself. there were a lot of things that i expected to happen that didn't, a lot of things that happened that i didn't expect. maybe if i set them myself, i'll be more in control:

get a B+ in spanish [ ]
feel comfortable in photo [ ]
not get discouraged in APUSH [ ]
stay on top of studying [ ]
not get lower than a C+/B- on any of my finals [ ]
visit marci [ ]
try harder to get along with my mom [ ]
get kissed [ ]
learn to drive [ ]
do well, "not just passing", on the OGT's [ ]
make less mistakes [ ]
keep my friendships [ ]
babysit catie and allie [ ]
feel inspired to play [ ]
run at least once a week [ ]
feel good about who i am and what i look like [ ]
keep promises [ ]
snowboard in ski club [ ]
go to a concert [ ]
write my letters [ ]
keep going to temple [ ]
visit katia [ ]
send hilary her birthday package [ ]
take steps back when i feel overwhelmed [ ]
not to overload my schedule [ ]
balance peer pressure better [ ]
make a difference [ ]

the tally will be taken last day of school.

well.

so the last time that i talked to tj was over a week ago; we were supposed to get together to paint his guitar and i dunno, schedules conflicted and we never ended up getting together. so for a few days after that i just kind of let things be but then i called on sunday, left a message, called on monday, left a message, called today, left a message. i mean- school is starting monday [insert thunderclap here and lights dimming] but i would kind of like to see him or at least talk to him before then. and since i only have one way of talking to him, phone, it makes things more difficult because i can't email him or IM him and i guess that's my own fault for falling into modern ways of communication but i dunno, things would be easier that way. i think the thing that's starting to bother me is that i don't know where he is or what is going on. i mean if i knew he was on vacation or at work or something, that would be fine. but i dont want to have to start worrying that like something bad happened? i worry about that too often anyways. i was considering writing him a letter, we've done letters, but i dunno. i just wish i knew what was going on because i can't ask anyone, i don't know anyone that would know where he was.

that's just on top of my work that i had intended to finish.
i dunno. optimism! let's try to remember that one.

mike the mailman

so basically i was going to get into this blog and the 'we'll remember your password' thing ran out of time and i was left trying to remember what it could possibly be. so i figured, i'd just send a little 'you were supposed to remember this and now that you aren't then i need an email to reset it' message to my email. i go to my email and not one but four emails are there explaining how i should reset my password. as i was trying to figure out why i had four and how to reset it, i remembered my old password and went back to the homepage and logged in.

so i've been waiting anxiously for my schedule since i realized school will actually come like it has every other year and that maybe i'll be less nervous once i get my list [haha, who am i kidding]
today everyone else got theirs mid morning and i began pacing and wondering why we had to get our mail mid afternoon instead. however, i've always loved mike the mailman, mike came to our house early today! thrilling the experience was. so i got advanced photography like i wanted, have a nice lunch and good spanish class. three things i was worried about can now go away. now don't think that just because those things went vamos that the rest of it will be a breeze. but i am going to chicago in october and i have to remember that i have got to push myself for that. i want to be on my A game this year, no more 'meh meh i'm a little freshman and high school is for tough guys and i'm not'. no no, it'll be more like 'oh man, i am that tough guy, look at me go'


and then i'll drop my books and get lost in the hallways. but i can dream.
so take this, little good listener blog, as my promise that i won't be on a C or D game but an A game. alriiiight.

wrapped in a bow

oh blog i am quite sorry for neglecting you so.
i must say i've been unfaithful and given mr. livejournal more attention.
but here! alas! a journal entry from me to you wrapped in a bow!

ah the wrath of an angry sophomore at 3am.
so since i've dubbed 'allowed to be angry' onto myself;
i'll continue.
i've been working[prettyfairlyreally]hard on a history essay and only to my dismay [imayhaverealizedthisfromthegetgobutbeen

toostubborn] that my SUMMARY is almost three pages. uhm, the WHOLE THING has to be from 2-3. that would mean about one sentence to describe the murderer, two sentences to say two things i liked and didn't like about the book, and maybe if i'm lucky two sentences about the author's perspective. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhshit.
so once again, i take my mouse, and highlightandcut 10 sentences and dull down the other 20 so that i can write in the goddamn length requirement.
and to think that some kids have trouble writing two pages.
i wouldnt have so much of a problem if i didn't have to fucking double space it.
that makes some kids really happy. no,no, not me. not miss lets write a novel for every paper.
sakdjsakdjsdjksaasaksajdsakeuwieusa8desajkdjsakjsdkw3k298ekdqsadkj*&#jkskdjsad8&Ea83o8fdsajd.
and THAT'S even too long ^^
goodfuckingnightfuckers

oh too sad. you were hoping it was a NICE post? ahh. no wayy.