words swallowed.

charles bukowski once wrote that there will always be something to ruin our lives, it just depends on who or what finds us first.

last night time stopped for a moment when i had a misconception about words that someone said to me.
i overreacted, i jumped to conclusions, i made an unjust confrontation because i was scared of what those words meant to me, if they meant anything at all, if they meant everything. i thought for awhile that i was right, that she was wrong, and that eventually i would get my way. but after more pain was pitched to one another, i realized that my pride and i, myself and i, were going to have to suck it up and take it down the right way. so then i thought that since i did that, things weren't going to be so bad anymore. but that opened me to something more.

for as much as i had hoped i could blame what had happened, what had been happening, on something and someone innocent, i couldn't. it wasn't fair and it's still not.

i have apologizes to make, i have words to swallow and i have to realize that i've got to get things under control and i've got to myself down the right path.

otherwise; i'm not sure where or why or when or what is going to fly because right now, my wings are breaking.