-1000 degrees

okay. last time i checked, being a kid wasn't supposed to be this hard.
homework consumes me to a point where i'm not getting much (if any) sleep
and i dont feel like looking nice or acting pleasantly.

if it has to snow, why doesnt it snow us out of school?
if teachers feel like they have to "challenge us" why do we have to be "challenged" with overlapping projects and pointless projects?
if drama is part of a teenager's life, then why do so many of us want to kill each other because of it?
if boys are so much trouble, why do we keep falling for them?


if questions are asked
where are the answers?


i have hope and i may just be "hopelessly hopeful to be hopeful enough"
that maybe i'll become brave enough to blaze through the
heartache and the headaches for him
either that or i'll have to pick myself up each morning and place the big question mark into the invisible tears that i stream in the halls,
waiting for the day someone will figure it out and find it there
and then place me on their shoulders, carrying me along until
i'm strong enough to walk along side them.


for now, ill keep asking, and keep listening.
and know that this loveistheonlything making me smile for him
in case he'll notice
and in case i'll be watching with my head up and not hung.


ps. its like -1000 degrees outside and -1000000000 inside me.