i have to say goodbye to ben today.
i really can't and i don't know how i'm going to.
what do you say when someone is just leaving like that?
i need more time with him- new york is far.
that's not fair- i think i'm upset but i'm also angry.
it's not really fair because i'm supposed to be the one to leave first. he isn't supposed to go and start this whole new life and leave me back here. i'm supposed to leave first. it's just two more years until i would have. it's not fair. i have to say goodbye to ben today. i can't. i don't know how.
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