"I’ve spread my wings, but they won’t extend all the way.
I remember dreaming of these days, and now they’re all mine.
My future is in my hands, and I’m not giving it away to anyone.
I’m just your average girl, but I’m trying.
I’ll be more than this one day.
Soon.
Just give me a little time to prove myself to you.
I will.
And I can’t wait to show this town everything I had all along,
but they were too ignorant to see."
-http://laurenbolek.tumblr.com

See, I read your blog and I'm in awe. You say you're just average but you don't seem that way to me. It's hard to feel anything but awe towards people like you because I'm still clouded in my dreams, unwilling to come down until I get exactly what's up in my head. In my head, I swing from the tallest trees without the least bit of fear but when I walk home from school, I get scared I'm going to get hit by a car. In my head, I take long drives across the country and stop only to take take pictures with a boy I love on the sides of all the roads we pass over but when I sit in my parent's car, I can't go any further than a few miles. In my head, I've got it all but when I open my eyes, I don't see anything similar at all. I'm trying to make all my dreams come out of there and stay on paper, rest in my hands, spill from my lips. I have to get out of Cleveland. I'm going crazy - everything looks the same around here. I don't DO anything. I'm too busy dreaming and I'm too scared to stop. I think if I try and push something out, not even all of my dreams, just one little one, that when it doesn't work out or it doesn't follow how I feel, I'll run in the other direction and never want to sit in my head again. I want to be more. I want to wake up in the morning and kiss cold lips and make them warm. I want to fall asleep at night, so tired from building living room forts and blasting music from the speakers. I want to walk around in a daze because there's beauty around me - new beauty, old beauty, my beauty. I want it all and I'm so scared that I won't ever get it. I'm turning 17 in just a few days and I was excited. I still am, don't get me wrong. I'm ready to get on with things, move past high school and make something of myself to this place that takes me for what little I am. I feel like no one will wait around for me to become what I want, that no one will take my hand at 1 in the morning and tell me how great I am and how great I can be. I feel like no one will do that and that scares me. I feel like I've got all this bottled up in my head and in my heart and if anything happens, I'll explode and ruin it all with my scattered bits all about. I'm trying. But I just want to be. I want to get on a plane or sit in a car and go. Go somewhere where I don't wake up feeling the same weight I had the day before but with energy to go talk to someone new or find something fresh. But for now, I'll wait for myself - I know I'll be there someday with a big white walled apartment in a big city with a big bed in the middle with a big window across from me. With a darkroom set up only a few steps away and a huge stereo system with giant headphones. With that someone who will take me out everyday and show me the little things, show me the big things. Show me, me. Because I know I'll get there someday. But I'm asking for a little less time to let me be less and a little more push. You said that you're just average and you'll be more soon. But to me, you are the more I want to be. So, if for tonight that's all I get to know, that's fine. After all, it's only 7:00. Maybe I'll be a little more by the time 8 rolls around.