you haven't yet. i've trying telling myself that you did. but you haven't - not yet, anyways. it's hard for me to stay above the water without any promise of a flotation device. i've never been a very good swimmer but maybe you can come for a few hours and remind me how to again? i tell myself that you're always saving me but i think that that requires you to actually hear me say it..and then you'd actually have to care. that's not fair. you do care - i just have trouble remembering that sometimes because it's easier to pity myself. i'm trying for you, i'm trying to be better. and hopefully, i'll be the best i can be. i don't know. i'm trying..it's hard. but i'm trying. i just wish it wasn't all for you because i'm not sure that you'll ever feel the same way for me. i think i always will though.