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i was watching a movie tonight
and i really couldn't figure out what happened in my mind
i know that earlier today, i was feeling slip-py
and i figured going out would be the fix but what frustrates me is that i came home
and i was watching that movie
and again, i let my mind wander off and get off of its track
i wish it was as simple as reaching into my head and just fumbling around with the car of all my thoughts and then putting it back onto the tracks and letting it go straight again. but i can't figure out what happened that i fell off again. maybe i wasn't on so securely the first time, i don't know. i'm getting a bad feeling that i faked whatever was fine. i'm not really sure what is going on. i want things to be better, i do. or maybe i don't. i don't really know.
i just want to know what's going on. if i knew at least, it'd be better. i hope so. i don't know what to do. last time i was like alright, do this, do that, tell them, do this, it'll be good. but now i don't know what to do. i don't know what i'm doing. i'm off track for sure. that's all i do know.
is knowing that better? or maybe i need to be floating around more and then i wouldn't be in this place at all if i were ignorant to what was going on. i don't know.