what happens?

let's go back to the beginning of summer.
or at least skip ahead to august 2nd.
i can't figure out what's going on and it's making me really anxious.
i figured "okay, don't check your email at all tonight and then, then you'll get an email"
that was last night. so i woke up and i figured "okay, there are pretttttttyy good chances there will be some sort of something response." but then i thought "no, don't cross your fingers, that's putting too much on the line" and THEN i thought "what the hell, cross your fingers, that won't change anything. there'll be something or there won't."

thats optimism to luck to superstition to indifference in a matter of a minute and a half as my email loaded. 8 new emails. i figured then "okay, okay, just scan the first four..nothing? it's okay. it's probably in the four you can't see." i figured then "it's gotta be" and then i figured "no, it won't be. well, maybe. well, no. well, maybe" and then i decided to just look.

and low and behold ...

absolutely nothing. nada. nope. nothing.
i'm so bummed. i can't understand what's going on.
and i think i'd feel better if i could do one of three things:
1. see in the future to the day before and just seeeeeee if i'm giddy or absolutely peeved.
2. [i like these numbers in this font btw] look inside my computer and through to the one over there and see if there's like a communication button not pushed or something
3. GET AN ANSWER.

eerrrrrrrp. this is making me really anxious.
i can't do anything else but wait now and i guess i've got to put it in someone else's hands to figure this out. what happens, happens. let's just say that..

what happens, happens.
thats it. i'm not going to think about this anymore.
what happens, happens.
plain and simple.
what happens, happens.





what happens, happens.