i have work to do; books to read, papers to write, equations to solve. i should be preparing for next weekend's trip; studying up, folding clothes, telling teachers. somehow, i'm managing to avoid most all of this. because just because i didn't answer right away didn't mean that i wasn't interested or that i didn't like it - it meant that i wanted to linger in your words, in your song. relish in having power for once. but just because i told you that i was busy didn't mean i didn't love it and it doesn't mean that i don't love you. because i do. and honestly, i was just happy to be busy with something for a few minutes that cooled my mind from being wrapped around you - it's exhausting loving you .. because every day that i wake up and realize you won't call that morning, or you won't laugh that afternoon, or you won't comfort me that evening, i just want to roll myself back up in my sheets and pretend like the rest of the world isn't out there anymore, that it's just me and my thoughts. because there, i'm with you. there, you love me and you hold me and tell me beautiful, quiet things. there, you're mine and i'm yours. there, we love each other. but when i put my feet on the carpet and rub at my eyes, the dreams slowly start to fade out - and i busy myself. but that doesn't mean that i don't love you.