"i miss you more than i should,
more than i thought i could -
can't get my mind off of you.
[i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it all]"

see, my words are tired. i'm tired. i got through last week like *that*
but why do i feel like this week will be worse? i think because last week, i was reeling in the glory of the weekend and i might have maybe just a little thought that this weekend that just passed, would be filled with you too. next weekend has the possibility of that - but it won't happen. first of all, i can't go back so soon due to the parental unit. second of all, i can NOT sit in a room full of couples or crushes or couple crushes for two hours - watch them cozy up on the couch when i snag a table near the front to film you and then think about you running into my arms at the end of your set. but you won't. you'll go to her. and that makes me sad and tired and scared. it also makes me realize that i miss you more than i should but not more than i thought i could - i only think i could keep missing you and that turns into more and more and more. i wish you followed by saying that you know that i'm scared but you won't be over it all anytime AT all.. but you won't. because you have her arms to hold first, her mouth to kiss first, her words to repeat first. let me know when you do, by the way. because three weeks ago, you told me you were practically over it and now i'm pretty sure that you're just getting further under her .. so, let me know. i want to know when my broken heart can break again..