yeah, so. i don't even know you - not really at least.
and i don't like you. you just seem mean. a little stuck up. and too talented. i'm struggling with photography
and i wanted to get into Scholastics very badly. i think that i wanted it for myself first but second, i wanted it to show you that i'm good. that i'm still here and that i need would like some praise for the good work that i do. because right now, i'm back to being uninspired and irritated. i've been avoiding looking at your work for awhile now but i did because i wanted to know what he's doing with you - it's my only way in. and it's only a sixteenth of a way in too. he was supposed to call and he didn't. i haven't heard from in since last sunday. it's been one week and he's been on break. so there should be some time for me. but i'm pretty sure that he's just busy. and he's busy with you. you seem mean. i don't know anything about you. and i know i shouldn't assume that your mean. but you can't get kicks on other people's feelings. broken feelings, nonetheless. it's ridiculous how many times i've seen you do this since you've gotten in on the inside track with him. i want to meet you and i want to see what you have to say for yourself. because right now, it sounds like you pretty much are just a mean, petty girl. and i want to talk to him but i'm waiting. because i'd drive down there any time just to see him. but your there now and the priorities are so different, it's not even funny. i don't know. i want to ask him about you. but it's clearly not my place. i just have to know that i fit somewhere though. because it's like i'm willing to cut myself open, put myself out there, and let you fiddle around with whatever piece you'd like first and then discard it along the highway back home. i don't know. i just wish he'd call. tell me what was going on, why he hasn't talked to me. i'm tired of trying to decide why these things are happening but all i know is that they are. and i don't like it and it doesn't matter.